A Fancy Forest Hill Fountain.

When I was in my twenties I was always looking for that get rich quick opportunity. Back in the mid-80's I believed one such opportunity had presented itself when I came across an ad in the Toronto Sun for a company calling itself Lotto Busters.

What was this Lotto Busters and what were the exclusive territories that they were selling?

I was intrigued so I called the number.

It all seemed pretty legit when I called, but I was given very little information over the phone. I was told I needed to make an appointment and everything would be explained to me in complete detail. I was told that time was of the essence and I had to act fast because territories were being snapped up very quickly. I was now even more intrigued, so I made an appointment.

My appointment was scheduled; it was at an office over on Yonge Street in midtown Toronto. Conveniently I was in the area already with my ice cream route. I parked my truck on a side street and arrived early. The office was nothing more than a small room and there were large street maps sectioned off with red marker on the walls. There was a large folding table with a phone and a couple folding chairs. In one corner was a large whiteboard on an easel and there were lots of sealed boxes piled on the floor

The basic gist of Lotto Busters was pretty simple. It was a new product that would be sold on a weekly basis to coincide with the weekly Lotto 649 draw on every Saturday night. After inputting all the previous Lotto 649 results into a computer, the computer was able to (or so they said) determine the twenty numbers that most likely would be randomly picked on any given draw. It would then be up to the person playing the lottery to sequence those twenty numbers and try to select the correct six to become a multi-millionaire. Even without winning a jackpot prize, lottery players were sure to come out winners if they followed the Lotto Busters system by winning multiple smaller cash prizes.

So in other words, Lotto Busters turned the Lotto 649 into Lotto 620.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that the odds although still enormous would be much better picking six correct numbers out of twenty rather than forty-nine. For just one dollar a week all this coveted information would be available within a sealed Lotto Busters envelope to any Lotto 649 player.

The gentleman I spoke to was in his mid-forties and he was very excited about the launch of his new product. Lotto Busters was now being sold in territories that had already been purchased. After explaining the theory behind Lotto Busters, I too became very eager to purchase a territory. He explained I could buy any available section on one of the wall maps for five hundred bucks. The area that I purchased would then become my exclusive territory for selling Lotto Busters and I could sell them anywhere I wanted within my territory.

For me, it made perfect sense since I could piggyback the Lotto Busters onto my regular full-time job. I could display the Lotto Busters within all the convenience stores on my ice cream route. I was making weekly visits to the stores anyway so I could easily maintain a Lotto Busters display on the store's front counter. Back in the mid-80's very few convenience stores had computer lottery terminals. Lotto 649 was relatively new having started back in 1982. With the rollout of all the new technology, it would take many years before every store would be able to sell Lotto 649 tickets. For the most part the lottery terminals were only in the larger higher volume stores and not so much the little neighborhood ma and pa corner stores.

No worries, I already had quite a few accounts with lottery terminals installed and more were being added monthly.

The gentleman drew up the contract and I paid him the $500 fee on my credit card. I left the office that afternoon with two of the small cardboard boxes that had been stacked on the floor. In one box were the little POS cardboard displays that would sit on the store's front counter right beside the lottery terminal. In the other box were the sealed Lotto Busters envelopes to put into the displays. Each of the Lotto Busters envelopes contained the same twenty random numbers, six of which were destined to be the winning numbers on Saturday night.

I was told all the sales were guaranteed and each week I could exchange the Lotto Busters that I had not sold the previous week for new updated ones. My cost would be fifty cents per sealed envelope. I had no doubt that I could sell a couple hundred Lotto Busters total in all my ice cream accounts with the terminals each and every week. If it didn’t work out and Lotto Busters was a flop, I would be refunded my $500 original fee. So long as I returned all the Lotto Busters and the POS displays, I had nothing to lose. Well, other than a bit of time and effort getting my displays into the stores that I was already visiting weekly.

Most of my ice cream accounts had no problem with displaying the Lotto Busters. I started off each account with ten envelopes. We agreed they would sell each envelope on consignment for a dollar. They would then pay me seventy-five cents for every one that they sold when I returned to update the display. The store owner would make his standard thirty percent and I would make fifty percent on every Lotto Busters envelope I sold.

I hustled my Lotto Busters faithfully for about a month, but the whole concept failed miserably. I might have sold ten Lotto Busters total over the first four weeks. I couldn’t believe lottery players could not see the value in what I was offering them. I was providing the opportunity to drastically improve their odds of winning the jackpot for a fuck’n lousy dollar. In desperation I found myself on a couple Saturday mornings up at the Yorkdale Shopping Mall flogging my Lotto Busters. I was desperately attempting to sell my envelopes to shoppers arriving through the subway tunnel entrance. I used my loud voice by letting passersby know I had that night's winning numbers right in the palm of my hand.

And for a buck they could too.

Both times I was escorted outside the mall by security with the same number of Lotto Busters I had arrived with. I was warned that if I persisted they would have the police charge me with trespassing. I still can't believe that I never sold one of my Lotto Busters after two attempts at Yorkdale. Hundreds of shoppers just hastily walked right past me and completely ignored the opportunity that I was offering them.

The truth is Lotto Busters turned out to be nothing more than a gimmicky math calculation based on the odds any given number would be picked on any given date. It was a complete farce and I didn’t even win a dime in the four weeks that I sold the Lotto Busters. Over the following days I collected all the Lotto Busters and the displays in all my stores so I could return them. I was going to get my five hundred bucks credited back to my credit card, but it was not for lack of trying. I gave it a shot, I made the effort and it didn’t work out for me so someone else can take over my territory. I was no longer interested in Lotto Busters and I wanted my money back.

I showed up the following week on what would have been the same day I was to pick up my weekly updated envelopes. The office was completely empty. The big whiteboard, the easel and all the wall maps were gone. The table, chairs, phone and all the boxes on the floor had also disappeared.

Lotto Busters had already gone tits up before I could get my refund.

I tried the phone number, but it too had been disconnected. I became incensed that I had fallen not just for the Lotto Busters scam, but now I was also out my $500. I had no recourse, I left all my Lotto Busters and displays that I had collected in the vacant office and walked out of the building. When I got home that night I dug out my contract. There was no name or number other than Lotto Busters and the same office phone number that was now disconnected. The signature of the man who sold me the territory was nothing but an illegible scribble. I also dropped by the office again the following week, but nothing was there. Even the boxes that I had left the week before were now gone. It was as if Lotto Busters had never even existed. I became angrier and more determined to get my refund. Like me all of the Lotto Busters distributors who would have bought a territory had all been scammed.

A couple weeks went by and I had forgotten all about Lotto Busters. I had conceded that my $500 was gone for good and I chalked it up to another life lesson learned. I figured there would be many more life lessons to be learned. Perhaps losing this $500 would make me a bit more cautious concerning other future ventures I might eagerly be too quick to jump into.

Then one day I came across my credit card receipt for the actual $500 I had paid. I noticed that there was a different name other than Lotto Busters and that there was a rather legible signature on the receipt. I wrote down different variations of what the last name might be. It was not a common name and I scoured the phone book for each variation. I had vaguely remembered that the gentleman told me he lived very close to the office during our original conversation at my first appointment. On a map, I drew a large radius circle within a fifteen minute commute to the office on Yonge Street. With each name variation, I plotted the address from the phone book onto the map.

Nothing was within the circle.

I was ready to give up when an address popped up in a very well to do area of Toronto known as Forest Hill. The address was very close to the office on Yonge Street and I figured it was worth a shot. I wrote the address down and a couple days later I decided to check it out with my truck while doing my route. I showed up on the street just outside the house. The house was located in a very exclusive area of Toronto where some of the city’s wealthiest residents lived. Beautiful large and expensive houses on manicured tree lined estate lots would best describe the neighborhood where the address was located.

I remember a couple things about the house.

One, there was a circular driveway.

Two, there was a large fountain in the front of the driveway. The fountain had what looked like a mermaid and there were streams of water lactating from her breast. It looked like a real fancy fountain; one you would see somewhere in France. The only other house I knew that had a fountain in front was the Clampett’s on the Beverly Hillbillies television show.

I highly doubted as I drove away that afternoon that the guy who had scammed me lived in such a beautiful, expensive house. That night I decided to phone the number of the house I had checked out that afternoon.

A man answered the phone.

“Hello, I am calling about my Lotto Busters refund,” I said.

“How did you get this number?” he replied.

Bingo!

I now knew I had found who I was looking for.

“It doesn’t matter I want my refund now,” I said

“There are no refunds. Don’t ever call me here again.” He responded as he slammed down the phone in my ear.

I immediately dialed the number again, but no one answered. Late that evening I dialed the number once again and after a half dozen or so rings the same man answered. I used a very matter of fact tone as I spoke to him.

“Listen to me and listen to me good. If you like your fuck’n mermaid fountain in the front of your house, you'll credit me the five hundred bucks you owe me by the end of the week.” I said as I slammed the phone down in his ear.

Problem solved.

Within a week my credit card was refunded the full amount. I never heard from or saw anything to do with Lotto Busters ever again. I was proud of myself that once again I had resolved a problem in my own unique unorthodox way.

No harm no foul.