Golf Is A Stupid Game Anyway,
In my opinion golf is such a stupid game, a really stupid game. Unless you are a very good and experienced golfer, then chasing that little white ball all over God’s creation is nothing but a very frustrating, very time consuming and a very expensive endeavor.
The first time I ever played golf was at the Scarlett Woods golf course located within the city of Toronto. It was on a beautiful sunny weekday afternoon and I had the day off from work. I went with two other friends who also worked with me at Collegiate Sports. I grabbed a demo set of clubs from the store and I shared my friend’s balls and tees. I wore my jeans, a tee shirt and running shoes so obviously there was no dress code at Scarlett Woods back in 1980.
To put it bluntly I sucked, all three of us sucked on that afternoon. The only thing that made the afternoon worthwhile was after golf the three of us hit the Commisso's Bakery for a veal sandwich and a Coke. After that afternoon I never wanted to play golf again and I knew one thing for sure, I would never be owning golf clubs.
Scarlett Woods was an executive course, a smaller course best suited for beginners or seniors. My ball had no problem finding whatever little water, sand and rough there was on the course that afternoon and I also got a nasty sunburn on my neck, face and arms. Fast forward a dozen plus years and the game of golf was booming. Golf was experiencing a worldwide resurgence and it seemed like everyone was now playing golf. Network ratings for the PGA tour were at all-time highs because so many people were now tuning in to watch golf on television.
Both men and women, kids as well as adults of all ages were signing up for golf lessons. They were also buying new expensive high tech equipment at golf stores that seemed to be opening up everywhere. As well they were spending money joining private clubs and playing on public courses. Golf courses could not keep up with the demand and new ones were being built at an alarming rate all over Ontario as well as Canada.
The reason for golf's newfound popularity was simply two words.
Tiger Woods.
With so many of my hockey buddies now playing golf, I too ventured back onto a golf course. For them the executive courses were for beginners and they were too easy so they were now playing on professional par 72 courses. On some of the par fives I was now playing on, there was more water, sand and rough than there was on the whole Scarlett Woods course that I first played on back in 1980.
I sucked even more now, but this time however I was not giving up so easily. I bought a cheap beginner set of left handed Northwestern golf clubs, a new bag and new golf shoes which was something I didn't think I would ever do. I quickly realized after just one summer, I would need to upgrade my clubs if I had any hope of being good at golf. I would also switch from being a left handed golfer to a right handed golfer after I was told golf courses favored right handers for shooting lower scores.
I began to take this very stupid game very seriously and I bought myself a nice right handed set of Spalding Executive clubs. They were not top of the line by any stretch, but they were a huge upgrade from the Northwestern's which I had already given away to another beginner. For sure, I would now be a better golfer I thought to myself.
Nope, I still sucked.
Golf quickly became a very time consuming game. I spent hours weekly at various driving ranges and I golfed every Thursday afternoon after work. I would drive up to the Castlemore Golf and Country Club about a half hour north and we would try to squeeze in a quick nine holes. Our last couple holes we always played in twilight and near darkness. It would always be well past nine before I got back home. Most weeks during the summer I tried to play at least one round and I would get up very early and drive out to meet a friend at some course outside of the city. After a quick breakfast we would usually tee off around 7 am and the course was always wet with the early morning dew. Lunch in the clubhouse would follow after the round and if I was lucky, I would be home around 3 pm.
So you would think that I must have been getting better by now.
Nope I still sucked, but just not as much.
I enjoyed the game of golf most when I played up in Muskoka. Over the years I spent many weekends during the summer visiting my wife’s family in the picturesque little town of Huntsville. Weather permitting (I hated golfing in the rain or cold weather) we always played two rounds on the Lakeside course at the Deerhurst resort.
I absolutely loved that course.
I played that same course dozens of times and never tired of it. It was a very challenging par 63, 18 hole course. There was lots of water, bunkers and narrow fairways. The greens were always very hard to read and on most greens it felt like I was standing on a massive green potato chip. Out of the dozens of golf courses I played, the Deerhurst Lakeside course was by far my favorite golf course. I could easily go out on any given Saturday and shoot in the mid-eighties. On Sunday I could just as easily shoot a hundred plus.
Or vice versa.
My best score ever was an 82. The Lakeside was inexpensive compared to the Toronto area courses that I usually played. I always walked the course, mostly because I never wanted the extra expense of a cart rental and I also loved the exercise. In 1990 Deerhurst would open the new professional par 72 Highlands course. I played it just once, it cost me well over a hundred bucks and I lost a dozen balls on that day. I shot if I recall 130 and most of my strokes were self-inflicted penalty strokes.
I never played the Highlands course again.
Golf is a game that takes so much practice year round and living in Canada golf is a seasonal game. The truth was I probably was not going to get much better at playing golf than I already was. I always found it funny how many of my hockey buddies would forever talk up a great game of golf. During the hockey season they were always bragging how low their scores were and anytime I played with a guy who bragged about his golf game, he was no better than I was. He could always talk the talk, but he could never walk the walk. For the most part they all cheated and on many of our matches I had the lower score.
The reason most guys cheat at golf is simple. They do not play golf by the proper rules and to be honest most guys don’t even know the rules of golf. I won many bets by pulling out my rulebook and proving them wrong right on the course. Many arguments would ensue and on many days a friendly game of golf was anything but. Like them, I too at one time did not know the proper rules of golf either and I too also lost many bets because I thought I did. That all eventually changed and I became a real stickler when it came to playing golf by the proper rules. Many of my cheater friends just stopped playing with me altogether.
And that was fine with me.
I took great pride in knowing the strokes on my scorecard were 100% accurate. No matter how high or low I shot, it was my true score and most of the golfers I played with cannot say the same. Let them all think they are better golfers than they really are. They are only fooling themselves and in the big picture, no one really gives a shit.
I also got seduced into purchasing some gimmicky golf clubs that were sure to lower my score. I paid a couple hundred bucks once for a sand wedge. A wedge that was absolutely guaranteed to take strokes off my game. I had seen an infomercial where they had grabbed people who were not golfers right off the street. They had them hit a ball out of the bunker beside a green with the fancy wedge. The course was Pebble Beach with the Pacific Ocean in the background. On each swing they all snuggled the ball right up beside the pin. I guess my wedge must have been faulty, because it never worked that way for me.
I felt so stupid falling for that scam.
I also remember watching a video where some guy was proclaiming anyone could shoot boggy golf on any golf course if you can master a 7-iron. It just so happens that the 7-iron was my favorite club. I could hit the ball consistently 150 yards plus and I hit it straight. I easily used my 7-iron more than any other club in my bag so I decided to put what I had seen in the video to the test. A friend who also was an avid golfer always purchased every summer a 2 for 1 coupon book. It was a great way to play some of the higher end courses for basically half the price. The only catch was that you had to tee off really early on a weekday morning.
And that was perfectly fine with us.
We reserved a tee time for the Legends course at the newer Lionhead Golf Club. The Legends course was one of the better and more challenging courses in the Toronto area by far. I took all of my clubs out of my bag with the exception of my Spalding Executive 7-iron and a putter and threw the bag into my trunk. We arrived at the club early. Lionhead is one of those clubs where they come out to your car with your cart (carts are mandatory). They take your clubs out of your trunk and set up your cart with complimentary tees, balls and scorecard, you’re good to go.
When the guy grabbed my bag he inquired as to where my clubs were.
“Where are your clubs?” he asked.
“In the bag, I only use the two clubs,” I responded.
He looked at me like I had three heads.
That morning my friend and I were paired up with another couple of golfers. They too were also puzzled after seeing I had only brought my 7-iron and a putter to play the long 7000 yard course. The four of us played the course and the four of us all played by the rules. When our round was over I had shot a respectable 107, the best score of our foursome. I had even beaten my friend who was by far a better golfer than I was. Although it was not true boggy golf, I was very pleased. I had shot my best score on a professional par 72 course using just a 7-iron and a putter.
I only played Lionhead that once. I don’t think I could ever beat my 107 score again.
Eventually, I tired of the game of golf. It was just too time consuming and too expensive and many of my friends also stopped playing as much golf around the same time. I knew I was never going to become a really good golfer anyway, but every round I would hit at least one shot like a true professional golfer. That shot was what would keep me coming back to a golf course week after week. My problem was that I could never string a dozen of those shots together in a single round.
For me golf was frustrating and demoralizing. Golf seemed like such a simple easy game in the beginning, but the truth is it’s the hardest game that I have ever played.
I don’t miss golf at all.
I am pretty sure my days of chasing that little white ball all over God’s creation are now done for good. Although I still have my putter and my Spalding Executive 7-iron if I ever do change my mind.
The first time I ever played golf was at the Scarlett Woods golf course located within the city of Toronto. It was on a beautiful sunny weekday afternoon and I had the day off from work. I went with two other friends who also worked with me at Collegiate Sports. I grabbed a demo set of clubs from the store and I shared my friend’s balls and tees. I wore my jeans, a tee shirt and running shoes so obviously there was no dress code at Scarlett Woods back in 1980.
To put it bluntly I sucked, all three of us sucked on that afternoon. The only thing that made the afternoon worthwhile was after golf the three of us hit the Commisso's Bakery for a veal sandwich and a Coke. After that afternoon I never wanted to play golf again and I knew one thing for sure, I would never be owning golf clubs.
Scarlett Woods was an executive course, a smaller course best suited for beginners or seniors. My ball had no problem finding whatever little water, sand and rough there was on the course that afternoon and I also got a nasty sunburn on my neck, face and arms. Fast forward a dozen plus years and the game of golf was booming. Golf was experiencing a worldwide resurgence and it seemed like everyone was now playing golf. Network ratings for the PGA tour were at all-time highs because so many people were now tuning in to watch golf on television.
Both men and women, kids as well as adults of all ages were signing up for golf lessons. They were also buying new expensive high tech equipment at golf stores that seemed to be opening up everywhere. As well they were spending money joining private clubs and playing on public courses. Golf courses could not keep up with the demand and new ones were being built at an alarming rate all over Ontario as well as Canada.
The reason for golf's newfound popularity was simply two words.
Tiger Woods.
With so many of my hockey buddies now playing golf, I too ventured back onto a golf course. For them the executive courses were for beginners and they were too easy so they were now playing on professional par 72 courses. On some of the par fives I was now playing on, there was more water, sand and rough than there was on the whole Scarlett Woods course that I first played on back in 1980.
I sucked even more now, but this time however I was not giving up so easily. I bought a cheap beginner set of left handed Northwestern golf clubs, a new bag and new golf shoes which was something I didn't think I would ever do. I quickly realized after just one summer, I would need to upgrade my clubs if I had any hope of being good at golf. I would also switch from being a left handed golfer to a right handed golfer after I was told golf courses favored right handers for shooting lower scores.
I began to take this very stupid game very seriously and I bought myself a nice right handed set of Spalding Executive clubs. They were not top of the line by any stretch, but they were a huge upgrade from the Northwestern's which I had already given away to another beginner. For sure, I would now be a better golfer I thought to myself.
Nope, I still sucked.
Golf quickly became a very time consuming game. I spent hours weekly at various driving ranges and I golfed every Thursday afternoon after work. I would drive up to the Castlemore Golf and Country Club about a half hour north and we would try to squeeze in a quick nine holes. Our last couple holes we always played in twilight and near darkness. It would always be well past nine before I got back home. Most weeks during the summer I tried to play at least one round and I would get up very early and drive out to meet a friend at some course outside of the city. After a quick breakfast we would usually tee off around 7 am and the course was always wet with the early morning dew. Lunch in the clubhouse would follow after the round and if I was lucky, I would be home around 3 pm.
So you would think that I must have been getting better by now.
Nope I still sucked, but just not as much.
I enjoyed the game of golf most when I played up in Muskoka. Over the years I spent many weekends during the summer visiting my wife’s family in the picturesque little town of Huntsville. Weather permitting (I hated golfing in the rain or cold weather) we always played two rounds on the Lakeside course at the Deerhurst resort.
I absolutely loved that course.
I played that same course dozens of times and never tired of it. It was a very challenging par 63, 18 hole course. There was lots of water, bunkers and narrow fairways. The greens were always very hard to read and on most greens it felt like I was standing on a massive green potato chip. Out of the dozens of golf courses I played, the Deerhurst Lakeside course was by far my favorite golf course. I could easily go out on any given Saturday and shoot in the mid-eighties. On Sunday I could just as easily shoot a hundred plus.
Or vice versa.
My best score ever was an 82. The Lakeside was inexpensive compared to the Toronto area courses that I usually played. I always walked the course, mostly because I never wanted the extra expense of a cart rental and I also loved the exercise. In 1990 Deerhurst would open the new professional par 72 Highlands course. I played it just once, it cost me well over a hundred bucks and I lost a dozen balls on that day. I shot if I recall 130 and most of my strokes were self-inflicted penalty strokes.
I never played the Highlands course again.
Golf is a game that takes so much practice year round and living in Canada golf is a seasonal game. The truth was I probably was not going to get much better at playing golf than I already was. I always found it funny how many of my hockey buddies would forever talk up a great game of golf. During the hockey season they were always bragging how low their scores were and anytime I played with a guy who bragged about his golf game, he was no better than I was. He could always talk the talk, but he could never walk the walk. For the most part they all cheated and on many of our matches I had the lower score.
The reason most guys cheat at golf is simple. They do not play golf by the proper rules and to be honest most guys don’t even know the rules of golf. I won many bets by pulling out my rulebook and proving them wrong right on the course. Many arguments would ensue and on many days a friendly game of golf was anything but. Like them, I too at one time did not know the proper rules of golf either and I too also lost many bets because I thought I did. That all eventually changed and I became a real stickler when it came to playing golf by the proper rules. Many of my cheater friends just stopped playing with me altogether.
And that was fine with me.
I took great pride in knowing the strokes on my scorecard were 100% accurate. No matter how high or low I shot, it was my true score and most of the golfers I played with cannot say the same. Let them all think they are better golfers than they really are. They are only fooling themselves and in the big picture, no one really gives a shit.
I also got seduced into purchasing some gimmicky golf clubs that were sure to lower my score. I paid a couple hundred bucks once for a sand wedge. A wedge that was absolutely guaranteed to take strokes off my game. I had seen an infomercial where they had grabbed people who were not golfers right off the street. They had them hit a ball out of the bunker beside a green with the fancy wedge. The course was Pebble Beach with the Pacific Ocean in the background. On each swing they all snuggled the ball right up beside the pin. I guess my wedge must have been faulty, because it never worked that way for me.
I felt so stupid falling for that scam.
I also remember watching a video where some guy was proclaiming anyone could shoot boggy golf on any golf course if you can master a 7-iron. It just so happens that the 7-iron was my favorite club. I could hit the ball consistently 150 yards plus and I hit it straight. I easily used my 7-iron more than any other club in my bag so I decided to put what I had seen in the video to the test. A friend who also was an avid golfer always purchased every summer a 2 for 1 coupon book. It was a great way to play some of the higher end courses for basically half the price. The only catch was that you had to tee off really early on a weekday morning.
And that was perfectly fine with us.
We reserved a tee time for the Legends course at the newer Lionhead Golf Club. The Legends course was one of the better and more challenging courses in the Toronto area by far. I took all of my clubs out of my bag with the exception of my Spalding Executive 7-iron and a putter and threw the bag into my trunk. We arrived at the club early. Lionhead is one of those clubs where they come out to your car with your cart (carts are mandatory). They take your clubs out of your trunk and set up your cart with complimentary tees, balls and scorecard, you’re good to go.
When the guy grabbed my bag he inquired as to where my clubs were.
“Where are your clubs?” he asked.
“In the bag, I only use the two clubs,” I responded.
He looked at me like I had three heads.
That morning my friend and I were paired up with another couple of golfers. They too were also puzzled after seeing I had only brought my 7-iron and a putter to play the long 7000 yard course. The four of us played the course and the four of us all played by the rules. When our round was over I had shot a respectable 107, the best score of our foursome. I had even beaten my friend who was by far a better golfer than I was. Although it was not true boggy golf, I was very pleased. I had shot my best score on a professional par 72 course using just a 7-iron and a putter.
I only played Lionhead that once. I don’t think I could ever beat my 107 score again.
Eventually, I tired of the game of golf. It was just too time consuming and too expensive and many of my friends also stopped playing as much golf around the same time. I knew I was never going to become a really good golfer anyway, but every round I would hit at least one shot like a true professional golfer. That shot was what would keep me coming back to a golf course week after week. My problem was that I could never string a dozen of those shots together in a single round.
For me golf was frustrating and demoralizing. Golf seemed like such a simple easy game in the beginning, but the truth is it’s the hardest game that I have ever played.
I don’t miss golf at all.
I eventually got so frustrated during one round after hitting three straight tee shots into the water. I was now lying 7 strokes. I threw all my clubs into the water and walked off the course.
I never played again, golf was a stupid game anyway.
I never played again, golf was a stupid game anyway.
I am pretty sure my days of chasing that little white ball all over God’s creation are now done for good. Although I still have my putter and my Spalding Executive 7-iron if I ever do change my mind.
Oh yeah I almost forgot and I still have my rule book also.
