Life's A Bitch And Then You Marry One.

* This memory is a continuation of the 'The Old Mill Chapel It Is' memory.

On October 16th 1982, Bonnie and I exchanged our wedding vows inside the Old Mill chapel. I could never remember ever being as happy as I was back on that day and I couldn’t even fathom the thought of us someday ever splitting up. Although little did I know on my wedding day that the woman I was marrying would indeed pull the plug and eventually walk out of our marriage, our family and my life.

My marriage to Bonnie lasted just eighteen years. I say just, only because I fully expected to have the rest of my life with her. However, after eighteen years Bonnie would have other plans, she would have other agendas and none of them would be including me.

Whatever happened to all the 'death do us part' and 'I do' shit that we vowed to each other back inside the Old Mill chapel?

If you have read some of my earlier memories, it should be quite obvious that Bonnie was everything to me. She was my first love as well she was also my best friend. She was the only woman I could ever have imagined spending my life with. Bonnie was not just my wife and best friend, she was also the mother of our ten year old daughter Stephanie.

With both Bonnie and I each coming from broken homes, we both knew what it was like to grow up not having our parents together. If there was one thing I thought I was pretty sure of was that Stephanie would always have her mom and dad together while growing up. I truly believed that neither Bonnie nor I could ever think of putting Stephanie through what each of our parents had put us through.

So how did what I thought was a solid marriage end up getting blown away like dust in the wind?

Back in October 2000 Bonnie wouldn’t be hitting me with just a gale force wind, but a tornado. She would be unleashing a funnel of fury that I never saw coming and in its wake both mine and Stephanie’s life would be forever changed. I thought our marriage was a good marriage. Sure we had our share of ups and downs and we had arguments like all marriages have. But for the most part we always talked things over and resolved our issues by keeping the lines of communication open.

I honestly can never recall any issue being serious enough to ever warrant us even discussing the ‘D’ word. Right from day one we both agreed we would never go to bed mad or angry at each other. I remember heeding that great advice from an old bible scripture I had once given a talk on at the Kingdom Hall.

It always made perfect sense to me.

Anyways, there is no point in rehashing my marriage and my life with Bonnie. Personally, I had what I thought was a good solid marriage and Bonnie had been a big part of my life for twenty years. Our marriage provided me with many happy cherished memories that I have and will continue to write about separately on this blog.

Regarding my thoughts on our divorce, there is just too much water under the bridge. And, there are always two sides to every story.

My side is true and simple.

I met Bonnie when I was nineteen years old; for me it was love at first sight. We soon became best of friends, got engaged and then we were married. I was overjoyed when Stephanie was born in 1990. The three of us had now become a complete family and I couldn’t have been happier. Then after eighteen years of marriage Bonnie decided she wanted a divorce. Her demeanor quickly changed and she became a callous, heartless and vindictive mean bitch. She told me repeatedly there was no one else, there was no other man. She just needed her space because we had grown apart and she was no longer happy.

Maybe she was right.

I began to accept the fact both of us were not as compatible or happy as we once were. However, I begged Bonnie not to throw in the towel and for us to work on saving our marriage. I pleaded for her to just stick it out and I promised her things would get better. My emotional pleas fell repeatedly on deaf ears; the lights were on but nobody was home. Bonnie’s mind was made up. The love and devotion I once had for my wife was now replaced with utter contempt and disgust.

My contempt and disgust became much more magnified when I discovered she had indeed torn our family apart to be with another man, a black man.

A black man?

Are you fuck'n kidding me?

Bonnie had sunk to the lowest of all lows and she was now nothing but a liar and a cheater.

Eventually, Bonnie would even forsake her own daughter when Stephanie became a teenager and needed her mother the most in her life. She moved to the State of Maryland to live. Her interracial wedding as well as her life with her new coloured family was now her number one priority. That old saying about how the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree was proven so true. Bonnie had done to Stephanie exactly what her own mother Lorna had done to her when she too was just a little girl. She just up and left to marry another man and then go live in the United States. Although Lorna did her laundry the right way, she never mixed her whites with coloureds.

I will never forgive Bonnie for what she did to our family. Both Stephanie and I deserved better, so much better.

I am sure Bonnie’s side of the story would have a different spin as to why she wanted out of our marriage. Still, it will never change the fact that she is both a liar and a cheater. Although, I will say that Bonnie did pay me the utmost compliment when she told me after eighteen years of marriage, I was still the same guy she married.

However, Bonnie did not say it as a compliment; she said it more as a complaint.

I wonder how many couples going through a divorce only wish they could say their soon to be ex was still the same person they married.

Absolutely millions I would bet.

It's too bad that bitch Bonnie was no longer the same girl I married because I never would have written this memoir.