From Armageddon To Paradise.

As the 70's drew to a close, it truly was amazing just how much my life had changed during that decade. I had grown up so much; I was now a young adult and as I entered the 80's I had so much to look forward to.

Although I was still living under my mother’s roof, I was no longer living under her ultra-strict regime. I was now making my own decisions after finally ridding myself of her religion that had already dominated most of my life. On reflection I can only say that Jehovah’s Witnesses are not bad people. They interpret the bible in their own way and they set very strict guidelines that all members must follow. I can truly say in all honesty that growing up a Jehovah’s Witness was not at all easy.

Technically the Jehovah’s Witnesses are a legitimate religion, but they can be very cult-like in so many ways. They are forever prophesying doom and gloom and warning about an impending Armageddon just on the horizon. That horizon first introduced in the Watchtower magazine just a few years prior to the destruction of the world back in 1975. I will never forget the deluge of people from around the world who became dedicated Witnesses leading up to 1975. I myself spent literally hundreds of hours going door-to-door warning of Jehovah’s impending wrath on all of mankind. There were so many people who believed that the world as we knew it would be destroyed back in 1975.

Me, not so much.

The year 1975 came and went only to see a mass exodus of those who had dedicated their lives to Jehovah were now just as quickly leaving. They were fleeing back to their comfortable 'worldly' lifestyles.

I witnessed this with my own eyes.

The Witnesses preach that Jehovah will inflict his wrath on all mankind and all non-believers will be destroyed. A non-believer being anyone and everyone who has not accepted Jehovah will perish. It will be as if the angel of death swoops down and wipes our entire Sodom and Gomorrah planet clean of all non-believers.

Yet, on the other hand after the great Armageddon wipes away all the sinners, there will be a resurrection. Anyone and everyone who died during the history of mankind will be brought back to life. Planet earth will be transformed into a paradise for a thousand years and all those newly resurrected folks will be given one more chance to accept Jehovah before Satan is let out of his abyss one final time. Then after a period of time, the Great Satan will forever be destroyed.

All who then survive will live happily ever after, forever in paradise. It is such a nice, warm and fuzzy ending to such a very tragic tale. I remember asking my mother if a monster like Adolph Hitler would be resurrected and she assured me that he would. I could not fathom nor would I want to be living in a world where such an evil man would be given a second chance.

I'll pass thank you very much.

My mother herself looked so forward to seeing her own father who had passed away back in 1951. She always warned my grandmother that unless she accepted Jehovah she too would also perish in the great Armageddon and she would never be reunited back with her husband in paradise. I guess it was a good thing that my grandmother died back in 1992 because she will now be resurrected into paradise and she will be reunited with her husband afterall.

Seriously, this was my life; this was how I was raised for over a decade.

I will forever have many fond memories of my time at the Kingdom Hall. We were all a very close knit group and there were many great times that I enjoyed. Maybe had my mother not been so myopic, so fanatical and so devout then things might have been different for me. Maybe, I too would have become an elder and made my mother proud like my brother.

Then again, maybe not.

Sadly, I was now no longer maintaining any of the friendships I had made while going to the Kingdom Hall. Most of those friends also left the faith, but for whatever reason we all went our separate ways. We all had our own lives we wanted to live. I think that subliminally we all just wanted to rid ourselves of everything or anything that was JW related including our close friendships. We all just wanted to wipe our slates clean before moving on.

I know that is what I did.

During my time while living in Lawrence Heights, I probably saw my father no more than a half dozen times. Each of those times would have been during the first couple of years after us moving to Flemington Road. As I now approached my twenties, I had made up my mind I never wanted to see or have anything to do with my father ever again.

My father was now dead to me.

It reminds me of the old adage about forgiving and forgetting. I will never forgive or forget how my father treated not just me, but my mother and brother also. When it comes to my own father, time did not heal all wounds.

My life’s biggest passion hockey, I developed over the 70's. I absolutely love the sport of hockey. I love playing both road and ice hockey as well I love watching hockey. I was as much a hockey fanatic as my mother was a fanatic of her religion. My passion for hockey became the key for my escape from both my mother and the Jehovah’s Witnesses.

One thing that I will never forget about the early 70's was the day my mother explained to both my brother and me about the 'birds and the bees'. It was the talk every son should be having with his father and not with his mother. But like everything else, the talk would be left up to our mother. It would be up to her to make sure we were both prepared sexually as we embarked upon our teenage years.

The bible is full of sexual innuendos; both my brother and I would ask many questions. There were numerous times, too many to count during our bible studies at our kitchen table where the sex topic would come up. My mother always told me and my brother that we were too young to understand and she would be explaining everything to us once we were older.

Finally, the day arrived.

My mother explained everything, she answered all our questions in a way only a devout Jehovah’s Witness like my mother could. I also remember learning a new word on that afternoon, copulation. The first thing she explained was what copulation or sexual intercourse was and that it was only permitted between a married man and woman who love each other.

No exceptions.

Copulation outside of wedlock was a sin and anything other than genital copulation or missionary sex was also a sin against Jehovah. She explained in detail that although copulation is very pleasurable for both a husband and wife, its sole purpose is for procreation and to conceive children. My mother also shared with us the dangers of habitual masturbation which I had already been enjoying for a few years. She warned that a lack of self-control and not being able to control our sexual urges would lead to other sins like fornication and homosexuality.

From what I can remember, that was the talk.

There was never any talk of birth control to prevent pregnancy should we ever have a weak moment and sin. Instead, my mother had a stern warning for both of us on that day. Should either of us be involved in any sexual conduct before marriage, we would be put out from under her roof immediately. No exceptions and there would be no second chances.

When I reflect back on that time of my life, I often wonder if my mother’s bark was worse than her bite.

I never did find out.

As a parent myself, I often wondered how she could be so callous at times with her numerous and never ending threats. However, her bark always worked and I never did experience her bite. I was never put out from under her roof and she accomplished what she set out to do. She raised her two sons on her own in a housing project without any reproach being brought upon herself, her faith or her Kingdom Hall.

For that she deserves a medal.

During my teenage years there were always a few pretty Witness girls that attended our Kingdom Hall. There were also many more pretty girls who were not Witnesses that went to my high school. I always felt comfortable around all girls and I was never shy, but I never had a girlfriend. There was no such thing as a teenage boyfriend/girlfriend relationship at our Kingdom Hall. It was always frowned upon because they were too young. Teenage friends were always encouraged to go out in groups and not off on their own where sexual temptations would be lurking. Most of the courtships that I can recall at our Kingdom Hall were usually between couples in their twenties and older. Even at that age, many times a chaperone would tag along if they went out alone.

I kid you not.

Once I started working full-time I really hoped that I would have better luck finding a girlfriend. I knew of a couple girls who liked me although I was always afraid to ask them out because I lived in constant fear of being rejected. I also knew that for me to have any success with finding a girlfriend I needed my own car. I didn’t even have a driver’s license and I was just beginning to learn how to drive when I started working at Collegiate Sports.

At Collegiate there was one girl who I really liked. Her name was Bonnie, she was eighteen years old and I thought she was absolutely beautiful. I found myself quickly becoming very attracted to her and I kind of got the feeling she liked me also. Not so much as a boyfriend, she already had one of those, but just as a friend. She was a part-timer and went to school during the day.

I now found myself scheduling the evenings I worked to coincide with the evenings Bonnie worked. Every Saturday when she worked, I worked also. I was beginning to revolve my whole work schedule around her work schedule. At times when I couldn’t trade off a shift, I just came in and worked for free. I worked dozens of free hours at Collegiate Sports during the two years I was employed there.

Why?

Because every time we worked the same shifts, we also took our fifteen minute coffee breaks together up in the mall. Seriously, I would work a fuck’n four hour shift for free just to have a coffee break with Bonnie. There were many times when she would have to take her break earlier and she would always come find me in the store. It didn’t matter what I was doing, I stopped and took my break with her. She always laughed when we were together and I loved being with her.

She was all I ever thought about and even my love for hockey had now taken a back seat to this Bonnie girl. I could never remember that ever happening before. As the weeks quickly passed I felt we were becoming better friends, closer friends. By the time the 80's arrived I could feel myself falling in love for the first time in my life. I was nineteen years old and I was falling in love with a girl who already had a boyfriend.

No worries.

May the best man win.

The 80's, I am so ready.

Bring 'em on.