Parkinson's Progressing.
By the year 2002 my mother’s Parkinson’s disease had progressed to the point where she could no longer live on her own. After a few too many falls along with her unwillingness to leave her apartment door unlocked it became futile for her to use the medical alert button she always wore. The paramedics could not access her apartment without taking off the door or having building management unlock the door during regular business hours.
There was so much valuable time that would be wasted each time she fell.
The final straw was when she had fallen and then spent three days on a gurney in the hallway of Mt. Sinai Hospital. My brother who was in charge of all our mother’s medical decisions decided she would not be returning back to her apartment. It was now in her best interest for her to be in a nursing home where she would receive 24 hour around the clock care. Although I knew my mother loved her apartment and her independence, I too knew she was no longer capable of living on her own. It was with mixed emotions that I agreed with my brother’s decision.
Our mother had absolutely no money, savings or cashable assets whatsoever. Other than a small monthly work pension and her Government social security pensions she had nothing financially. There was absolutely no way that I could have afforded private nursing home care without cashing in my investments or going into debt. I had no idea what my brothers financial situation was like and neither did I care. Even if I could have afforded private care, I still would have been hard pressed to pay for it based on my life long relationship with my mother. All that our mother ever wanted for during her entire life was the basic necessities. She always told me growing up that so long as we have the basics, then we had everything we needed.
So like she had relied on for most of her adult life, it would once again be up to the taxpayer to provide our mother with her basic necessities. She would now at the age of sixty-nine be spending the rest of her life in a Provincially subsidized long term care home.
With our mother now living in a nursing home, everything for the most part was provided. All she really needed was a little bar fridge, television, radio and a phone. Whatever furniture and other belongings she had in her apartment for the most part my brother gave away or donated. Everything else including the bookcase that I had made for her in high school was thrown in the garbage. I must admit I was a bit sad knowing that the bookcase she loved and was so proud of was being thrown out in the trash.
It was not too long after when our mother would become wheelchair bound. My brother had found a very expensive wheelchair at a very low price. The person who was selling it had also bought the wheelchair for a parent who passed away shortly after. It was still practically brand new when we bought it for our mother. Although our mother appreciated the upgraded wheelchair, she struggled using it to get around the nursing home by herself. She had absolutely no upper body strength and found it too exhausting trying to develop the skills she needed to be mobile on her own. Eventually, she just gave up and the wheelchair would be only used on outings where she could be pushed around.
As her Parkinson’s was progressing quickly she started to become very forgetful. It always amazed me how she had trouble remembering even the most recent of events, yet she could still recall bible scriptures at the drop of a hat. It also became very difficult for her friends to get her to and from her Kingdom Hall meetings safely so she began using the public Wheel Trans system. Admirably and even in her handicapped state my mother still refused to miss her twice weekly meetings.
Although she could no longer go door-to-door, she often went out into service from the street corner while sitting in her wheelchair. She was also doing daily telephone work from her bedside, always seeking out lost souls looking for direction. Like they had done for the previous thirty plus years, her ‘brother’ and ‘sister’ friends were still always dropping by for visits. I never would have thought I would ever say it, but I was very grateful during this time of her life that she had her faith. Because of her faith, it had provided her with so many true and loyal friends. Seriously, a person would be so lucky to have as many friends as my mother had during her life.
As well I was still regularly maintaining Stephanie’s relationship with my mother. Sadly, there would be no more homemade juice popsicles or blowing bubbles on her apartment balcony. There would be no more sitting on the couch reading bible stories or colouring with crayons at the kitchen table. Instead we now visited the nursing home where my mother shared a small room with another elderly lady.
When we visited we never really stuck around in her room, we would always take her out and sometimes Janine would also join us. All of our visits would include a trip to Swiss Chalet where my mother would always down one or two of the virgin pina coladas.
My mother always loved Swiss Chalet and those coconut flavored, brain freeze inducing slushy concoction with the little umbrella.