You Have Cancer.

I will never forget Halloween 2013 was on a Thursday and I will never forget that Thursday. It was a cold, damp windy day as I entered the South Muskoka Memorial Hospital in Bracebridge. I was fifty-three years old and I was living a life that was humming along pretty smoothly up to that day. Sure, like everyone I had my share of ups and downs, but for the most part there were way more ups. I was entering the hospital for my first colonoscopy after having a few issues that my doctor wanted to check.

I was absolutely starving as I entered the front doors.

I filled out all the paperwork and then I sat in the waiting room. Waiting for when it would be my turn to have a long flexible tube with a camera inserted into my butt. I needed to find the reason why I had been bleeding in my poop for the past couple of months. Sherry was with me. She was also my ride home since I could not be released after the procedure without one.

I first met Sherry back in December 2012. 


We met online; we decided dinner at a local restaurant would be the best place for our first date. Sherry had been a widow the previous few years after her husband of twenty plus years died from colon cancer. He had presented issues to his family doctor who just casually dismissed them as hemorrhoids. The issues persisted for well over a year and on further examination, it was determined he had stage IV colon cancer.

He lost his battle after a five year fight.

We talked for hours and we discussed our daughters. We each had one daughter and I was fascinated they had each briefly shared the same given names, Stephanie Lynn.

How weird is that?

My Stephanie Lynn kept her name and Sherry’s Stephanie Lynn quickly became Jennifer Lee a couple days after her birth. I asked Sherry how Jenn’s relationship was with her father who had been Sherry’s first boyfriend after high school. Sherry explained that Jenn’s dad had also died from stage IV colon cancer a few years earlier.

Are you kidding me?

Are you telling me the two men previously in your life both died from colon cancer?

Yes, that was exactly what Sherry was telling me.

I remember glancing out the window and thinking to myself. If I do get serious with this woman then colon cancer is one disease I will never have to worry about. 

Afterall, what would the odds be? 

Three men and all three diagnosed with colon cancer

Seriously, I can’t make this shit up.

A nurse arrived and escorted me down the hallway for my scope. After a bit more paperwork I had the hospital gown on and an IV in my arm. I was now ready and I was wheeled into a room where I was prepped one more time then positioned on my left side. The doctor arrived; I remember staring at the monitor while I started counting one, two, three, four, five, six, sev…..

I woke up in the recovery room about a half-hour later. Thursday is scope day at the hospital so there were a few of us in the recovery room. Those who were now wide awake were leaving while others who were still sedated were slowly coming to. I too was becoming more alert by the minute. A nurse came from behind the curtain; she introduced herself and said she needed a blood sample.

I thought nothing of it.

I was now fully awake. I had my little drink of cranberry juice and I was ready to go home. Another nurse told me that the doctor would like to talk with me before I left.

I thought nothing of it.

I just assumed the doctor would want to discuss how everything went and to let me know that I was fine. Come to think of it, he never talked with anyone else who had a scope and left before me.

Maybe, I was special.

I was now propped into a wheelchair as my bed space was needed for other patients to recover after their scopes. I waited maybe about a half-hour before the doctor finally arrived.

“You have cancer.” 

The doctor said many words, but all I remember hearing were those three words. That would explain the blood work and why I had to wait to see the doctor before I could leave.

Everyone else was fine, but I had fuck'n cancer. The doctor told me I now had to come back tomorrow for a CT scan.

A volunteer wheeled me back down to the waiting room. I was terrified and I tried to put on my best poker face. I tried to smile when I saw Sherry. Sherry had already brought the car around as I was wheeled outside to the waiting passenger seat. The volunteer opened the door, I sunk into the seat. 

I looked at Sherry “I have cancer” I said.

The volunteer shut the door.

I was in complete shock, I was scared and I was starving. We drove to Subway for lunch where Sherry confessed she knew right away when she saw me wheeled out to the waiting room.

Oh well, so much for my poker face.

I never was good at cards.

*If you would like to continue reading my journey journal 'Kick'n Ass Cancer's Ass' click on the link below.